Saturday was our long-awaited Class of 2007 Graduation Dinner Dance at The Great Hall in Ivanhoe. After spending no less than two hours trying to cake my face with pore-clogging crud - yes, I am a makeup n00b - I sacrificed breathing and eating for an entire night by the simple act of zipping up my little red dress. Yes, the 'smile' in my photos is indeed a wince!

Unfortunately, the night's tacky C-grade theme "Celebrating with the Stars" gave way to a plethora of references to chemistry in our lovely principal Mrs Collin's speech: "each star is different. It has a different size, a different chemical composition, a different density. Like you girls." Hence, I feel the need to publicly declare that whoever wrote her speech needs to be shot. As if any sane woman would drag chemistry into our 'night-of-nights' after the trauma that was the VCE Chemistry Unit 4 Exam, especially in the 'magnificent' and 'wonderful' nasality of her voice.

Perhaps as a consolation for a convenient reminder of our impending doom come December 17th (I reiterate, the speech writer needs to be shot), we did get some lovely showbags of we-would-have-chucked-it-out-anyway freebies, which included a black clutch, concealer and lip gloss (although one was an already opened 'Tester', which I'm planning to avoid lest I contract herpes), as well as a forest's worth of Christmas pamplets from Nutrimetics. Indeed, we do thank Nutrimetics for their generous donation! The food and music were rather impressive as well, and the band skilfully hopped from genre to genre, from Donna Summer to Santana.

In stark contrast, the colour scheme was rather frightening. Pardon me, but electric pink foil wrapped around chairs in bows is not only inconvenient but a horrendous eyesore. Speaking of eyesores, in spite of raising a few parental eyebrows as I tried to non-verbally communicate with Lora across the table (so basically, I flailed my arms around trying to catch her attention), my psychoticness was rivalled by traumatising images of Mandy perving on the band's singer and then pouncing on Bao... several times. Yes, in spite of the fact that Bao was 13 years old at the time, the concept of paedophilia didn't seem to faze Mandy, as she launched herself on him and kissed him/ate his ear several times throughout the night. Meanwhile, I thanked the stars for not bringing my brother to this orgy of Desperate PLC Chicks.

However, to be perfectly honest, a function such as a Graduation Dinner Dance is nothing but an excuse for hordes of dolled-up teenager girls to photowhore unabashedly. I challenge anyone to deny this, as I wipe the dots of light out of my eyes. The 270+ tagged photos of me on Facebook can only attest to this: I AM A PHOTOWHORE.

-Mel the Photowhore

PS. You know you're addicted to Facebook when you return home at 1am and cannot sleep for the rest of the night because you haven't uploaded your photos yet.

Labels: Outings, Rants, School

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