The Blahg

Profile Blog Archives Twitter Chatbox

No responsibility will be accepted by the author for the wastage of your valuable time whilst reading this. Any claims that she has forced you to visit this site in order to inflate her ego will go ignored, and will only go to show your vulnerability to the author's exceptional persuasive skills as developed in Year 12 English. That is all.

Bonne vivante. Raconteur. Procrastinator.

Today was my first day of freedom from anything remotely academic; it was the first time in an entire year where I was not obliged to study like a lunatic. However, I am rather ashamed to admit that instead of spending a blissful day off from the usual academic barrages at school, I whiled away the time engaging in scholarly activities. This apparent 'addiction' to study probably provides a rather impressive indicator of the extent of the influence of my school subjects. Argh.

Unfortunately, I did not sleep in this morning, and woke up at the usual time of approximately 7:30am. Whilst Mum would usually be shrieking at me at this point, I awakened to the sound of silence and the occasional chirping of my cockatiel. I managed to climb onto my computer for the rest of the day, taking countless Mensa IQ and Admission Tests as well as several brainteasing puzzles in order to boost my self-confidence and establish myself as a 'talented wunderkind' in their books. Although this did not exactly amount to anything and only seemed to give the impression that I was either teetering on the borderline between average and intelligent or -especially when I had already learned of the answers from previous discussions with fellow sloths - comfortably within the 'intelligent' section of the scale.

Following these rather bootless tests, I spent the entire day eagerly looking forward to the flight tomorrow (oh my gosh!) and referring to the textbook and TSFX notes in a vain attempt to have a head start in Chemistry Unit 3. Although this was again rather fruitless due to the fact that the hordes of information would be completely forgotten tomorrow without the aid of any practice questions (yes, the procrastinatory side of me persisted as I vowed to do the questions 'some other day...'). However, I almost managed to get through a whole 'Area of Study', which translates to over half a term's work. I can also proudly proclaim that I now know what 'gravitometric analyses' and 'aliquots' are. Until tomorrow, anyway.

Anyway, tomorrow is sure to be extremely exciting, and I am enthusiastically awaiting my flight with anticipation. Armed with several paranoid health tips from all my over-paranoid relatives (which include but are not limited to: "Carry antiseptic hand wash with you AT ALL TIMES", "Clean the plane headrests and suspiciously oily windows in case you catch ACNE" and "BUY GASTROLITE IF YOU HAVE THE RUNS"). Sure thing...

However, to inject some hilarity into the exchange trip that commences tomorrow (well, it's Saturday five minutes past midnight, really), I decided to send an email to my fellow spirited travellers issuing a challenge (which echoes my previous post 'What Not To Do To An Exchange Student') to whoever feels particularly audacious:

Hey girls,

Before we set off for our fortnight-long 'hen's night' to improve our Chinese, buy illegal DVDs and generally just enjoy ourselves before the impending doom that is Year 12, I have decided to create something rather exciting.
In order to liven up our trip as well as provide some comic relief during tedious bus trips or vent some frustration from 24 hours of your host's incessant and incoherent Chinese chitter-chatter, I've decided to issue a set of challenges to you and the rest of the exchange students.

I challenge you to:

Take as many pictures with Mr Wang as possible.
Steal as many of Mr Wang's personal items (bonus points for toiletries) as possible.
Get Mr Wang to say the word 'asthma' or 'ASHMAAHHHHH' as many times as humanly possible.
Sit next to Mr Wang at every available opportunity: buses, airplanes, meetings, even on the toilet if you can.
Scare Mr Wang by jumping out of corners or behind doors as many times as you can.
While Mr Wang is asleep, try to pick out as many hairs as you can without him noticing.
Steal your host's toilet rolls and stash them in your bag. When you are about to leave, dump them in your host's sibling's room.
Swear at your host in English, only to tell her in Chinese that it means 'Hello' in English.
Explain to your host in detail that kangaroos are Australian athletes dressed in a fur coat, and tell them that you ride them to school.
Accidentally throw some white talcum powder on yourself whilst in transit.
Go into your host's toilet wearing a surgeon's mask.
Cough loudly when in the company of your Chinese friends.

Good luck girls, and pass this on to our fellow travellers.

-Mel

PS. Please please please, for the sweet love of God, don't ever pass this to Mr Wang or Mrs Buckman, or I will get deported. However, if they have already read this, LIGHTEN UP! I SWEAR, I'M JUST KIDDING!

Fingers crossed that I really do not get deported a la Naomi Robson.

-Mel

Labels: Chinese Exchange, Meh

0 comment(s)